The Physics of Interpersonal Relationships

1. Frictional force is directly proportional to normal reaction force between two people. If the two entities are close to each other, and at opposition, the more reaction supplied by either parties, the more friction. Also, work done by frictional force is non conservative in nature. One can only expend more and more time and energy into bickering with the other party, without expecting equivalent valuable output. Much is lost as heat.

2. Gravitational force is inversely proportional to the square of the physical distance between two people. If you find yourself gravitating towards someone, when you shouldn’t be, maintain a physical separation of at least 15 ft. That minimizes chance of physical contact and any form of non-awkward conversation.

3. If you find yourself fast accelerating into an unwanted situation with someone, the only way to change course of the events is to apply a jerk. Change in acceleration can be characterized by either one entity or favorably both being jerks.

4. The first law of thermodynamics states that energy of an isolated system is constant. One may decide to channel their energies into productive work and recreational hobbies, or indulge in interpersonal warfare, but not both. I’d pick the first.

5. Neural pathways get trained based on the associations between input stimulus to the output reaction. The weights on these pathways can be adjusted by experimentally varying the reactions to specific stimuli. If you dislike someone, for eg. a woman in your workplace that completely cold shoulders you even when you are sweet to her and offer sage advice on where to get the best kind of food in the locality, and giving her a heads up in the time of need, your most natural reaction is to detest that woman. You feel insulted. Now replace this feeling with that of pity for the poor woman who can’t see right from wrong.

Some associations might be tagged as positive compulsions. For example, when you feel disappointed by the lack of people to talk to, start writing a blog post instead. Wink wink.

6. Newton’s law of cooling suggests that rate of cooling is proportional to difference in temperature of the body and its surroundings. If you find yourself constantly agitated by your surroundings, walk out of the room. Staying in the room will only maintain or increase your agitation.

7. If two people have a charged discussion and are speeding through an argument, then in the presence of a magnetic field, they’re likely to experience a perpendicular force, called the Lorentz force, most likely in the form of a slap or punch, not by Lorentz himself.

8. If two interacting people have the same wavelength, a slight change in wavelength causes the formation of beats. A pattern of constructive and destructive interferences follows. In that case, just listen to the beat of your own music, some sound logic will follow.